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Apr. 8th, 2026 12:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xindigosaberx Allergies have been really kicking my ass since Friday. Absolutely exhausted. It's like I can feel all clogged up and sleepy or I can take meds and breathe and be sleepy. Trying to keep things moving in between allergy attacks. I've never had hayfever before(never had seasonal allergies of any kind before), kinda get why some people are out of commission with it every year, this is insane.
Been thinking a lot about the cycles the stalking moves in. Right now I'm in another phase of getting insulted on Tiktok, just had a short cycle of compliments for two-three days and now it's nonstop messages like 'sick of your shit' and 'pain in the ass' etc.. alongside posting the names of people in my life incessantly from my boss at the job I just left to some of the first names of the workers at my shelter. It's all to destabilize. All to make me feel isolated, trust no one, feel unsafe.
My daughter doesn't believe me. I would assume because she's in the cycle where nothing is happening. The cycle there moves as me, then her, then nothing, then repeat. They don't really come after us both at the same time anymore, I assume because we moved when that happened and we're so close to Chandler and Tempe now, they need us here to continue the cycles more easily. Alternatively she may be involved with them again as evidence suggests, since they knew what I had in my fridge here at the shelter and the only person who had been in my room to my knowledge was her the one time she had permission. They have not announced the contents of my fridge since then, suggesting also that the access ended around that time. Everything in the common areas is also on camera, so there's a small and highly improbable chance they might have access to that.
Still, the precision and organization of the abuse follows such a schedule it suggests someone at the heart of this has a history of some kind in psychology and likely experience with psychologically breaking people before. It feels like a scientific experiment. Poking, prodding, changing variables, measuring intensities and coming with new strategies.
Been thinking a lot about the cycles the stalking moves in. Right now I'm in another phase of getting insulted on Tiktok, just had a short cycle of compliments for two-three days and now it's nonstop messages like 'sick of your shit' and 'pain in the ass' etc.. alongside posting the names of people in my life incessantly from my boss at the job I just left to some of the first names of the workers at my shelter. It's all to destabilize. All to make me feel isolated, trust no one, feel unsafe.
My daughter doesn't believe me. I would assume because she's in the cycle where nothing is happening. The cycle there moves as me, then her, then nothing, then repeat. They don't really come after us both at the same time anymore, I assume because we moved when that happened and we're so close to Chandler and Tempe now, they need us here to continue the cycles more easily. Alternatively she may be involved with them again as evidence suggests, since they knew what I had in my fridge here at the shelter and the only person who had been in my room to my knowledge was her the one time she had permission. They have not announced the contents of my fridge since then, suggesting also that the access ended around that time. Everything in the common areas is also on camera, so there's a small and highly improbable chance they might have access to that.
Still, the precision and organization of the abuse follows such a schedule it suggests someone at the heart of this has a history of some kind in psychology and likely experience with psychologically breaking people before. It feels like a scientific experiment. Poking, prodding, changing variables, measuring intensities and coming with new strategies.
