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Mar. 8th, 2026 01:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xindigosaberx I'm trying to stay positive but I'm so irritated with how things just keep coming. New room neighbor creates so much noise at 1 am every night until 2 or 3 that I'm getting significantly less sleep. I'm trying to be reasonable but some nights it's so bad I have to say something. She slams her door about ten times each night, has loud cell phone calls during that time on speaker phone, goes through the house freezer on this side of the shelter which is right across from my room door. Every. Night. I don't even understand why she is. She's got one thing in there, the rest is mine and my daughters. She's violating the quiet hours rule every single night. I thought at first maybe I was waking her up but I started staying up to see and it's 1 am every night no matter what. What's most irritating is she clearly understands she's disturbing people because she runs into her room if I try to go out there to ask her if she can keep it down. It's starting to feel either manic or purposeful and I'm not in a good enough mood currently to care or be compassionate about which.
My daughter's been MIA since Friday night. She said she was with a friend but we've only been here a month and she doesn't have a car- so I find that unlikely. I suspect due to her uptick in bad behavior she's hanging out with the same crowd as before that she reports all my business to, hence the harassing comments on my tik tok about the contents of my fridge- which only my daughter would know.
They're claiming it's Kris again. Which I just find so hard to believe. I cannot think of a single reason Kris would take all this trouble to disappear entirely, to scrub himself from the internet, then leave his name everywhere on tik tok threatening to rape me or naming the contents of my fridge- like he has access. These people are either youth, or dumb as hell.
My minds been on where I come from a lot these past few days. Everything I've lost, how little I fit in no matter where I go, how often in my life people have been set on misunderstanding and making harsh assumptions against me, when I can't ascertain what I did to deserve it. I know what I'm describing isn't that different from other autistic women. It's almost identical in fact. But it's still pretty upsetting. I am a firm believer in the common denominator theory. I take accountability pretty well, it's uncomfortable but I don't like leaving it up to someone else to point out I did wrong. But in this case I don't think I'm doing anything wrong as much as I am simply different and there by make others uncomfortable.
That's the hard part. I can't really become an entirely different personality just to make people comfortable. It's not like I'm up in people's faces or demanding attention every five minutes. Most of the time I'm in my room. I just speak direct and I know how to communicate and I don't participate in communal politicking. I get that in a house of only women- that's probably uncomfortable.
My daughter's been MIA since Friday night. She said she was with a friend but we've only been here a month and she doesn't have a car- so I find that unlikely. I suspect due to her uptick in bad behavior she's hanging out with the same crowd as before that she reports all my business to, hence the harassing comments on my tik tok about the contents of my fridge- which only my daughter would know.
They're claiming it's Kris again. Which I just find so hard to believe. I cannot think of a single reason Kris would take all this trouble to disappear entirely, to scrub himself from the internet, then leave his name everywhere on tik tok threatening to rape me or naming the contents of my fridge- like he has access. These people are either youth, or dumb as hell.
My minds been on where I come from a lot these past few days. Everything I've lost, how little I fit in no matter where I go, how often in my life people have been set on misunderstanding and making harsh assumptions against me, when I can't ascertain what I did to deserve it. I know what I'm describing isn't that different from other autistic women. It's almost identical in fact. But it's still pretty upsetting. I am a firm believer in the common denominator theory. I take accountability pretty well, it's uncomfortable but I don't like leaving it up to someone else to point out I did wrong. But in this case I don't think I'm doing anything wrong as much as I am simply different and there by make others uncomfortable.
That's the hard part. I can't really become an entirely different personality just to make people comfortable. It's not like I'm up in people's faces or demanding attention every five minutes. Most of the time I'm in my room. I just speak direct and I know how to communicate and I don't participate in communal politicking. I get that in a house of only women- that's probably uncomfortable.
